Living Alone and Loving It (I Can’t Wait)

 

Blogger sonofabeach96 posted My Nurture Trumps My Nature the other day, in which he talks a bit about his solitary nature and how that works with his married-with-kids life. He was inspired by blogger Kim who has started Who But You (the living alone project), a blog series about living alone.

I really enjoyed reading through these posts. There have only been two times in my life when I have lived alone, and I have loved it. The last time was for the year after my divorce. It was a very tough year in some ways: major home renovations, the emotional aftermath of divorce, my health taking a nosedive, and the coldest winter in over a century (with only me to walk the dogs and shovel the walks).

But in other ways it was delicious. I learned new skills (changing my own tires! fixing holes in the drywall! painting my own walls!). I arranged everything in the house exactly to my liking. I spent time—lots and lots of time—doing art. I put up a note: “Wordt verliefd op jezelf” (“fall in love with yourself”). I wrote in it (probably grammatically-suspect) Dutch so nobody visiting me would know what it said; it was my private reminder and goal.

After a year, my brother moved in and has been with me for a while. He’ll be leaving in the spring, though, and as much as I love and will miss him, I am looking forward to the spring, to living alone again, to having my home be my own private nest. Never mind that I’ll have all the lawnmowing and the cleaning of the eaves and the fixing of leaky faucets with the help of youtube videos; never mind that there’ll be a lack of rental income and no help with the batch cooking. It’ll be just me and the cats and dogs, my own little pack, and I will spread out again to fill the whole space just the way I like it.

I’ll be following the Who But You project with great interest. I’m not sure if there’s a deadline to participate. But maybe once I’ve been living alone for a while again, I’ll contact Kim about writing something for the project as well.

Here’s to living alone and loving it. I can’t wait!

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Living Alone and Loving It (I Can’t Wait)

  1. sonofabeach96

    Ah freedom! As much as I love the life I’ve helped create, the joy my wife and kids bring me, and being a dad and a husband, there’s still a part of me that craves that aloneness. Me being me, I can’t fathom someone who fears being alone. I relished it. I’m with ya on wishing for spring, just for a bit different reason. I just hate being cold! 😃

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    1. nissetje Post author

      I hear ya. Just because you love being alone doesn’t mean you don’t also love your family life, and vice versa. It’s seldom either / or, right? More like both / and. I hope you have a lovely holiday with your family (however you may or may not celebrate it) and that you also get time alone. 🙂

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  2. Kim

    “My own little pack” What a great way to put it. I really love that. Very comforting. Yes, please do reach out to the Who but You? project in the spring, anytime, whenever you feel inspired. (I’d like to keep it going forever and ever, so there is no deadline.) Sending warmth, smiles, and a virtual mug of steaming tea…!

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    1. nissetje Post author

      Thanks for reading and welcome here. 🙂 I’ll raise a mug of tea to you and your project over the holidays while I am curled up on the couch with my pack!

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    1. nissetje Post author

      I guess in a way I won’t really be alone, since I have all these dogs and cats running around, but that’s just different. 🙂 They are the most soothing and lovely company imaginable. I bet you’re going to love living alone once you get to it!

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  3. Woman walking Max

    As a living aloner, I like the freedom – and there’s one thing I really miss.
    Coming home to someone, who cares about you, and sharing your day. Saying: you’ll never guess what happened… Do you know what so-and- so did and more. Guess it makes a difference as to whether you chose to live on your own or not.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. nissetje Post author

      Oh I agree! But I don’t miss that yet. I’ve lived with partners and roommates and family for most of my life, and there’s nothing worse than coming home to someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your day. A bit of loneliness when you’re alone beats the heck out of loneliness when you’re “with” someone.

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  4. Claremary P. Sweeney

    I lived alone for much of my adult life and loved it. When I was 50, I married Charley, who is not difficult to live with at all( because that could have been a disaster). And I’ve loved our 18 years together, too. Life has so many turns and curves and the right attitude is to love the life you are living at the moment. But it is important, even if you are living with someone to give yourself the gift of alone time and your quote reminding you to fall in live with yourself is the best advice anyone can give. Thanks…Clare

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